Sunday, October 17, 2010
not anymore, ever again
Your easily the worst person to fall in love with. Cause your the hardest to fall out of love with. Your hypocritical, your a liar. and I still fell in love with every thing you told me, knowing there was some meaning behind it, but ultimately... not the meaning I wanted.
I couldn't be more glad that whenever a slow love song comes on the radio, I don't think of you anymore. I don't think of anyone. And when I see couples holding hands or being what we should've been, I don't care anymore. I'm glad that even though I fell so hard, and it took long to realize these things, at least I realized. And now when people ask who I like, I can say no one and know that I'm not trying to just tell myself that.
You'd call me by pet names... babe, baby, etc. They were all so nice to hear, but none gave me that feeling like it did when you'd say my name. And the surprising phone calls, those always made me happy. And especially when you'd say things that you wanted, and you'd fall through with it. You'd come see me if you missed me, you'd call me if you missed hearing me, and you'd make time for me. Far was never too far for you.
I'd say "I don't care", but you knew different. I'd say "I gotta go" when really you knew I just wanted to hear you say "don't go". You knew all the right things to say, and sooner or later I realized sometimes they were just things to say... not because you meant them specifically just to me, or you really meant it.
I'm glad to say that the more time we've spent not talking, periodically here and there. It's helped me move on, forget about you in that way. Cause ultimately, now, you don't deserve me. Only because when I tried to make it work and when I gave in more than I should've, you never took the chance. And now, I'm gone.
Remember that. Never am I going to be the one to tell you I Love You because some other girl hurt you. I wont be the one to pick up the pieces that someone else broke. Never will I make your day or feel better by telling you sweet things just because the other ones aren't. Never again will I be the comforting girl you can always come to.
And at one point... whenever another girl would hug you or just imagining it killed me, because for a second they were holding onto my entire world. But not anymore, never again.